I keep 10+ journals.

here's what's in each of them-- and why

My biggest fear is wasting my life.

It sounds silly to write, but it’s true. People say that life passes in the blink of an eye and I believe them. As an attempt of preserving the details that make my life special, I keep several journals for a variety of reasons.

Here’s what they are, and here’s what’s inside.

1. Language Notebook (lessons and study)

This was advice from tutors of mine over the years and YouTube videos who recommended the most efficient ways to study a language: writing down sentences that you’d use in conversation, or repeatedly on a daily basis. My Turkish is still terrible but that’s largely because I’m inconsistent with my practice.

(years of writing: 3 and counting)

2. Quote Book (strongly recommend!)

I have one that’s full, and another that I use on a biweekly/monthly basis. I write/highlight in most, if not all books I purchase (beautiful prose I’ve read, lessons I’ve learned, or other things that touched me or made me feel something deep and impactful). Quotes are important; what speaks to you is more than likely a reflection of what matters for you at this particular moment in your life. I’ve looked back on my quote books and recall what I’ve read, or how I felt, or what I lived. It feels incredible to remember. (Usually. Not always. More on that in #3.)

(years of writing: 12 (!!!))

3. Daily Journal (One Line a Day; not for the weak of heart)

This is probably the most appalling journal I own. It’s scared me on numerous occasions. It’s not that I write horrible things within them, but my entries have reflected the ways in which my memory recounts things far differently than how they happened, usually to reflect how I wish to view myself as a person and not how I actually experienced the situation.

Here’s a few small examples:

a. -being upset that a friend hadn’t contacted me for several months, when in fact she had written me a letter and I stored it away to read later and forgot about it. In my journal I wrote something along the lines of, [x] reached out to me but I’ve saving it for when I can garner the proper attention to read it and write back, and realized that I never went back. (This is a recurring theme in my work and my life, but I’ll share more about that later.)

b. -being sad about several rejections for grants/fellowships/opportunities, but continuously applying for them; one year later, reading about how I was writing the following entry from a flat in a foreign country because I landed a job at a university that sponsored me to teach there

c. memories that I have in my head that were actually different when they happened: me remembering a friend and I eating French fries on the curb after an Alabama Shakes concert, but we actually headed to IHOP afterwards; things that I remember happening at night, that actually occurred during the day; a friend’s apartment having blood orange walls, when they were actually royal blue. Small things I wrote because I wanted to remember. Small things I wrote because I didn’t want to forget.

I don’t think any of this is done on purpose; when you’re writing about your days as they unfold, you have no idea where they’re leading. But they’re leading somewhere, or to something, or to someone. Whether I made decisions that changed my life or thought that my days were fairly uneventful, my daily life served as an invitation for everything that would come.

This also works as a pretty fruitful writing exercise. Instead of asking myself, “What did I care about?”, I asked myself, “What was I writing down?”

(years of writing: 1 in current one, 11 years in total (I have two other completed books))

4. Leather-Bound Journal (for ideas pertaining to Oklahoma only)

Ironically enough, I purchased the journal when I visited a friend in London. It’s from a craftsman in Bath, England, and one of his handmade journals was one of the first gifts I bought myself when I left the USA for the first time to study in Oxford, UK. This is where I jot down scenes and ideas for narrative for my manuscript titled An Oklahoma Story. (Wish me luck; I hope you’ll see it in bookstores someday.)

(years of writing: 1 in current one, 1 in previous one that is now filled)

5. Saint Laurent Moleskine

My dreams are forever large and, I like to think, attainable if I stay focused enough. I write ideas in this notebook of how I can expand my literary workshops and teach around the world. I’m so proud of the following events for the rest of the year: a letter-writing workshop in August at a stationery company in Virginia, monthly workshops resuming at the Hillwood Museum in September, and a lecture at Georgetown Library in October. Stay tuned; I’ll post more details in the coming weeks. 

(years of writing: 1)

6. Letters to Myself (red notebook)

This is where I’ll write musings to myself in letter form. These entries oftentimes begin with: “For You—”

I think one of the most beautiful lessons my mother has taught me, among many, is to speak kindly to myself. I write here on a monthly basis. Sometimes less.

(years of writing: 1)

7. Travel Journal

My favorite! It’s literally bursting at the seams, but it’s so fun to keep. I wrote in this newsletter about how I’m usually a very private traveler, but I’ll take business cards or stickers of places I’ve visited (restaurants, museums) and come home and scrapbook. I’ll put on some sweet music and have a delightful time.

(years of writing: 4 in current one; 5 in previous one that is now full)

8. The Book of Studies

When I take online classes, or when I’m studying a book for something, I’ll write my notes here. Occasionally I’ll use my laptop but I prefer the old-fashioned way of taking notes. I retain more information this way because I usually have to work harder to keep it.

(years of writing: 5)

9. Food Diary

Food holds memories. I like writing them down.

(years of writing: at least 7 consistently, written in over 4 journals, 3 of which are full)

10. Work Log (digital journal)

… along with my obsession of writing down what I’ve done and what I’ve eaten, I also keep a record of what I’ve written, what I’ve read, and what I’ve watched. So if you were to ask me which films I saw in 2021, I could weirdly tell you every single one, and on which dates.

(years of writing: 5)

11. Digital Diary

I have many, usually sorted by year and/or place. (I have documents labeled ‘Philly’ and ‘The Netherlands’ and ‘Washington DC,’ which are places I lived for at least 1.5 years.) This I’ve been doing since 2014, and I’ll probably keep one until I die. I just feel better when I write and I feel strange when I don’t. I type really fast on a computer, and while this is the medium where I write my manuscript(s) and work logs, I still oftentimes prefer putting thoughts to pen and paper. That’s just the original, you know? Something about it feels more tangible and real. (I also have an inkling that Microsoft/Google have access to my Word documents, which concerns me; I still don’t know what ‘the cloud’ is, but it saves my documents so that I can always find them but I need to check to make sure that they don’t use private documents to train AI.) Overall, I have many renditions on my computer of diary entries and enjoy stumbling across them and reading the cringe and the chaos and the love.

It’s sweet to see what’s in store for you, even when you have no idea what you’re doing. Just keep doing what you love and what will make you better at it. What’s coming for you is more than what you think, and probably more than you can imagine.

I’m proud of you. If you need a push to get started on a project or something else, consider this it.

Big plans are ahead and they’re calling your name.